What would anyone want to be in law enforcement? A question I have asked internally and outwardly to my husband on many occasions- since the very beginning of his trying out and recruitment phase. I still don’t have the perfect answer, but I do know of two common possibilities on completely different ends of a spectrum: power and service.

Law enforcement is not something easily joined on a whim. Depending on your state, the testing conditions are difficult. Could I pass the entrance test for trying out? Maybe- if I trained for it. Could I do it on my weekend with no practice and just show up one day assuming I could do it? Absolutely not. My husband, on the other hand, could wake up early on a Saturday morning after a hard week and just say “I am going to go try out for the police department today.” That’s a fairly accurate version of what actually happened. I looked over, 5 months pregnant with our second child, and thought “Why?”

My husband has a master’s degree in healthcare which he used to do part time research on his day off at our local hospital. His full time job was in a trade he had been doing on and off all throughout high school, college, and our early marriage. Was this trade a glamorous lifestyle for him? Not really. He was well-respected, a hard-worker, and one of the best in his trade. He had worked his way up to a place of leadership and was making great money. Our life was relatively low maintenance at this point. His job wasn’t the type where you had to bring work home with you- literally or figuratively.

We prayed for many years for an opportunity for his casual job at the hospital to open up into a full-time position with the main benefit being a less physically demanding job that had more consistency than being in a trade and better work benefits. After four years in that position, from what felt like out of nowhere, they asked my husband to come on full time at the hospital. That same week, after over a year of back and forth recruitment that never seemed to work out, he was also offered a job in our local police department.

I looked at these two options now before him and remember thinking “This job offer from the hospital is surely a sign- it is being offered at the same time he might have joined law enforcement. The Lord is definitely showing him that this hospital job would be the best option moving forward for our growing family. After all, why would anyone want to be in law enforcement?”

My husband thought differently than the words I was trying to say for him- and so did the Lord.

Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.”

I couldn’t really comprehend what was happening at the time, mostly because I thought this was a phase he would get past. I had never really considered the idea of my husband being a police officer. Over the next several months of processing and preparing for his start date, I lived our life feeling like it wasn’t going to actually change. I actually recall a coworker saying “Won’t he have to go to the academy and stay there?” To which I responded with disbelief “No, I’m sure they wouldn’t actually make him do that. We live close enough for him to drive and he has a family at home.” I’m sure that’s as funny to some of you as it is to me, looking back. What did I know? At his swearing-in ceremony, his chief whom I had never met before looked at me (7 months pregnant with our second child) and loudly exclaimed “We are really going to owe her! She’s going to have a baby and a week later her husband is going to be gone!”

I’ll save the story on how well that evening ended for me at a later time.

One of my mistakes early on was not taking the time to really listen to what my husband was trying to do or understand what his motivations were. He is more of a thinker than a talker, which means it takes special effort to know what’s going on in his heart and his head. All of my hostile and somewhat dismissive questions about “Why would you want to do this?” were met with the same response. He always said some version of “This is what I have always felt called to do. I want to serve and protect you and everyone else in our community.”

Deep down, I knew this was true. Coming from an upper middle class family, my husband had parents who had worked hard and were enjoying a life they wanted to pass on to their children. When my husband was in high school and expressed his desire to join the military after high school- it was shot down immediately. He was convinced that if he went to college first and still wanted to join after that- it could be discussed then- but he WAS going to college. Thankful for the Lord’s leading in our lives to bring us together- in so many unique ways- college is where I met him.

After college, I was preparing for graduate school, and again, my husband tried to join the military. We spoke to several recruiters as he entertained the idea- which I ultimately convinced him out of.

For over a decade of his life, he had wanted to be in a field of service, with those closest to him constantly working to keep him pursuing the American Dream with a nice house, nice cars, and an office job that would bring him home consistently each day to his wife and kids. For over a decade of his life, he pursued education and jobs that were not fulfilling to him.

Accepting his first position as a police officer took a lot away from our family, and it still does. The pay is low- which was a 30% decrease from his previous salary. The academy was four months away from myself and our children- including our one week old newborn. The shift schedules are horrible. The overtime is unexpected and inconvenient. The environment is toxic. He sees a horrible side of humanity. The public hates us. The list goes on and on.

So why does my husband want to be in law enforcement? He wants to serve. I’m still working on accepting what the cost of that service is.